| its been awhile |
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| 02:43am 27/05/2005 |
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mood:  infinite music: garden state soundtrack
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i have briefly returned from my indefinite hiatus.
i had made an unconscious decision to stop updating livejournal on new year's. i don't know why but i realized that lj was failing me. patrick might remember the post he made about how lj wasn't giving him what he expected. kind of how i felt. i came to the conclusion that it was sort of immature for me, so i turned friends only, and then just quit writing. and then it all ended up with me just not having time for livejournal. but today for some reason i allowed myself to write this entry more for my own memory's sake than for sharing, but what the hell, i figured i'd update you people on what's been happening this past semester in my life.
i made several resolutions on new year's most of which i kept for awhile. i promised myself to calm down a bit from the crazy fall semester i had. so this semester i worked my butt off in school, went to most my classes (except religion... but 10am was just too early...) i made one B (in geography, but its cool cuz its hard to pay attention when your professor is so damn hot and all you can think about in class are his uber sexy arms and that sexy, sexy smile....) and everything else was an A (including in stat 2000, which i needed a 95 on the final to get an A and thanks to mine and josh fischer's hilarious last minute late night study sessions, we both got 97's on the final). i also met a teacher this semester whom i actually liked, someone who i kind of look up to and who hopefully will be teaching me creative writing next semester. academically, my freshman year ended with a 3.6 gpa, not bad at all.
this semester i also met great people. the girls in my dorm and i became really great friends. cry in front of each other, confess your dirty deeds type good friends. we did some crazy things, including:
*the 400 block party - RA was outta town, so we had about 60 people roaming our halls drunk off their asses. each room was a different theme and served a drink: greek (togas and wine), get leid (leis and daiquris), orchard (apples and sour pucker), loveshack (kinkiness and love potion #9) and finally, the landfill (trashbag dresses and mudslides). it was so much fun and so so crazy. in case you ever thought about stealing a box full of condoms and throwing them around a room, they are a bitch to clean up. when you have over 1000 of them, you find them everywhere until move out. we played spin the bottle. crazy kids.
*llama-rama - that's right, you guessed it, live llamas, mingling amongst people. these crazy guys we know bought kegs and rented 2 llamas for their party. for future information: llama eyes look eerily orange in pictures. and red eye wont fix it.
i miss my hallmates. though i've seen sara, stephanie and callie a few times already, i really miss hayley, my other (watch i heart huckabees if you have no idea what i'm talking about.)
this semester i learned that opening up to new people shouldn't be as hard as it is. i learned that sometimes closing yourself up to other people sometimes is necessary. this year i finally learned the meaning of seize the day and that you should never let school interfere with your education. i finally gave blood. i accomplished something i'm really proud of (stillpoint magazine hells yeah) and i put myself out there more than i regularly would (calling nutmeg and getting shot down, applying to be opinion editor for Infusion Magazine and getting the position, arranging an intership for myself in brazil and still waiting on the results) i've become alot less afraid of rejection than i was before. i've danced on the bar at washington street both sober and under the influence. i made a movie which rocked (even though it didnt win the prize), i fell out of love and it didn't hurt (if one falls in love, and falling hurts, so "getting up" from love feels pretty damn good), i gave up on working out because i simply did not enjoy it and i've come to the conclusion that i'm damn hot (regardless of how unperfect i am, a fact which i simply do not care about right now), i learned that i sometimes get really annoyed by my family, but i can't live without them, and that my little brother is not little anymore... he just graduated elementary school...i've learned that i am a jedi and that hayden christensen is my dream man, i figured out what i want to do with my life, and i sure as hell have been working hard to get there and things seem to be working out. this year i changed my mind, and the sexiest woman in hollywood is no longer angelina jolie, it now is natalie portman and i will finish this paragraph with her as Sam in Garden State: "That's life. If nothing else, its life. It's real, and sometimes it fuckin hurts, but it's sort of all we have." (This is by the way, the movie and the soundtrack that shaped this year, and i'm sure many other people will agree)
so that was my year.
and in less than 3 weeks the rest of my life begins. im finally going back to brazil for 8 weeks or so. my grandfather is turning 80, so we'll have a big party. one of my cousin's is getting married and i've never been to a wedding. i might get an internship at a publishing company. i'm going to become, in kristen weddle's words: a "tanorexic". i'm going to relax and leave all the shit that has happened since i last went there behind. i feel like going there is going to free me and allow myself to find more of my own self. i really need this mental time out. spratticus and i were talking in our empty rooms the day before we moved out and we realized how much we had grown and changed in the past year. and i think that these 2 months i'll be away will allow me to sort myself out, throw away all the mental files that have no more use. i'm going to maybe update my journal while i'm there with some news, but i don't think i'm actually returning to livejournal.
i think i'm done for now. i leave you all with another garden state quote:
"We may not be as happy as you always dreamed we would be, but, for for the first time let's just allow ourselves to be whatever it is that we are. "
good luck exploring the infinite abyss y'all, and may the force be with you.
hope you guys all had a great year, and those of you who just graduated, make the best of your life from now, be fearless and don't watch too much law and order, because time is flying and i can't believe it's been a year since i finished high school.
i love you all, even with the bonnet.
-Julia
ps: oooh shameless self-promotion www.arches.uga.edu/~juliapr |
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(1 star shot |defy the stars) |
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